I Spit

Twins are competitive. Today, we reached a new level that almost made me crash my car.

It started at first sight in the kitchen. Ollie got to me first making Zoe upset. Next, they competed to see who could cut their PB&J toasts into the smallest pieces possible. Then, it was who could get their shoes on fastest, who could zip their coat and put on their gloves, then who was buckled into their car seat.

On the drive to school, the girls were in a dead heat when Ollie said, “I spit in Beijing”. The girls haven’t learned how to say “throw up”, instead they say “spit”. Spitting is recent phenomenon in our house. Zoe rebutted, “I spit in Beijing too”. Ollie countered with, “I spit the most”. Which is true, and an interesting feat of science, because a half a cup of milk one morning at breakfast somehow transformed itself in seconds into a quart, which covered a large part of our kitchen floor.

Hearing this, Zoe went quiet. I thought she was conceding defeat. Then, slowly, but with rising confidence she said, “I spit in Malaysia”. Ollie knew she was beat for Zoe had spit in two countries. Ollie had no choice but to cry.

Me, being a mature, responsible adult, did my best swallow my laughter, but I did veer very close to a bus as I doubled over. I recovered in time to get the girls safely to school and for me to live another day to see what they will get up to next.